Learning to forgive yourself and your ex-lover will speed up the healing process for the reason that you will feel more peaceful and calm about it. Hating your ex will only build up tension and stress in your life, causing your emotions to slow down from getting back to order. One way to avoid bitterness against your ex-partner is to look at the breakup as a favor. Appreciate their honesty of no longer wanting to pursue the relationship, instead of giving you high hopes for a possible future together. It is always an advantage to exit a relationship that had no chances to survive than to be misled.
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Conquer your fear of being alone. You need to help yourself understand that it is not abnormal to be on your own and that your values come from who are rather than whom you are with. Teach yourself that there is more to life than romantic relationships by spending quality time with your friends and family. Learn more about whom the other people in your life are and introduce more of yourself to them as well. Go out and do things together and treat yourself to something you enjoy, whether it is your favorite restaurant, shopping, going to the movies, or anything else. Learning to you be your own best friend will not only improve your relationship with yourself, but with others as well. As you begin to discover the other beauties of life and yourself, you will become more stable and stronger to face anything that crosses your path, such as a new relationship in the future.
Before you consider entering another relationship, take a step back and ask yourself why you want to do so. Make sure that you are not entering a new relationship on a rebound. This will only leave you with unfinished emotions and you will never have closure from your former relationship. Never begin a new relationship because you are afraid of being on your own, or feel the need to just be in a relationship. Form a relationship with someone new because you feel strong and secure on your very own and feel that you are ready to attempt a new romance. Take it one step at a time and keep in mind of what your needs and desires are from a person and observe closely to see if they show signs of the qualities you are looking for. As soon as you notice that he or she is not, then get out of it as soon as possible. Learning from your previous relationships will come in very handy because you will be able to prevent similar situations in the future, leading you to meeting the people who fit your description of a perfect partner.
Lastly, remind yourself that love is a wonderful feeling and experience and should not be generalized based on your past experiences. Do not use facts about your ex as a way to judge new people in your life. Leave your past behind you and focus on moving ahead. Get to know new people for who they are, not by comparing them to others, what they are not, or what they could be. Once you have observed their personality, values and everything else, trust yourself to make the right decisions without constantly doubting yourself. If you wish to try having a new relationship, then do so. If you do not however, then do not feel guilty to kindly walk away from the situation. You would be doing both you and the other a person a huge favor and saving time and emotions from being hurt. You have nothing to fear or worry about. After all, there will always be one person who will always love you, appreciate who you are and be there for you. . . and that is YOU.