If a guy’s giving you all the right signs, but you’re just not feeling it , what’s a girl to do? Here are some helpful tips to friend zone a guy.
We’ve all been there – maybe you saw him only as a friend from the get-go, or maybe at some point, you were interested in him. However, that moment has passed, and you’re already scoping out the next guy. It’s completely natural not to be sexually attracted to someone, and remember that you’re never obligated to make a relationship out of something that you’re just not feeling.
Getting him into the friend zone
So, now that you’ve definitely crossed out this guy as a romantic option, he’s going to need to realize that you see him only as a friend. There are several ways you can go about this, so pay attention, ladies! Here are the things you’ll need to do to make it clear that he’s in the friend zone.
#1 Tell him. Now, I know you’re probably cringing at this one. I mean, this isn’t an easy conversation to have with someone, especially when you know there are feelings involved. You may also be nervous to do so because you’re scared to jeopardize your friendship. But this is hands-down the best way to friend zone a guy – with honesty.
I had my best friend tell me that he loved me at the airport *one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life*, but I simply didn’t feel that way towards him. I was honest with him, and he did say that he needed some time apart from me, but when he was ready, he called me and said that he wanted to continue our friendship. We’ve been best friends until this day… awww.
#2 Quit it with the mixed signals. If you end your movie night by unwrapping yourself from his cuddle, that’s not helping. Really. Stop it. You’re giving the guy the complete opposite message. I know, we all like getting attention from someone of the opposite sex, but you have to recognize when your need for attention is becoming selfish. So take a step back, stop massaging his back or playing with his hair, and keep those hands to yourself. And if you’re finding yourself unable to keep from touching him, then maybe you should reevaluate your potential feelings for him.
#3 Emphasize your platonic feelings. If you can somehow squeeze in the ole, “You’re like my brother” phrase into a casual conversation, then he’ll most likely get the hint. That doesn’t mean it will change anything, but dropping hints like these can sometimes help him clue in to the fact that you aren’t interested in him.
#4 Cut back on the hanging out. If you’re hanging out every day, all day, you’re going to need to cut that waaay back. Don’t do it suddenly, but gradually weaning yourself back a bit will give you and him some space to breathe. Maybe on those days that you don’t see him, he’ll hang out with other friends and find himself naturally separating from you – that would be the ideal way to friend zone a guy. By spending a lot of time with him, you’re actually preventing him from living his life and finding the right girl for him. And don’t you have a yoga class to attend or something?
#5 Engage in conversation about other girls. Don’t overdo it, but you should bring up the conversation of girls and who he’s interested in every once in a while. Even though we all know he’s into you, by discussing women with him, you’ll show him that you’re not interested in a romantic relationship and that he should actually look for someone else. He will probably be slightly hesitant at first, but you can slowly engage him on that topic.
#6 Talk about boys with him. Talk about guys you’re interested in. You don’t have to give him the dirty details – actually, please spare him from the details and ease him down slowly. But, by talking about other men in front of him, he’ll *hopefully* see that he’s not on your radar and that he should move on. I mean, if you’re wanting to friend zone a guy, nothing says, “I’m not interested in you” like, “I want to have sex with any guy but you.”
#7 Decline romantic hangouts. Did he invite you on his private yacht for a dinner for two? Or did he ask you to take a long walk on the beach? Even though the idea of being on a yacht is tempting, use your better judgment and do not take him up on the offer. If you say yes, you’ll be placing yourself in a situation where he may find it a perfect moment to discuss his feelings for you and may even try to make a move. Remember, you’ll be on a yacht. Alone. Possibly without a lifejacket.
#8 Talk about your bodily functions. Not the sexual kind. The ones that automatically kill any sexual energy instantly. This may sound petty, but if you burp or fart in front of him, you’re showing him that you see him as a buddy. We all know that when we’re interested in a guy, we will hold in that fart until the end of time. Am I right, ladies?
#9 Play down your appearance. If you’re dressing up like a Barbie and putting on a face full of makeup to go over to his house, you’re doing it wrong. This doesn’t mean that you have to look like you just returned from dumpster diving. But definitely lay off the perfume and sparkling eye shadow when seeing him. If you put too much into your appearance, he’ll start to think that you’re doing it for him.
#10 Try not to meet his family and friends. This may be a hard one if he’s your best friend, as the odds are that his family and friends know you very well. However, if this isn’t the case, try not to hang around with his family, as they’ll start to ask questions and assume that you’re interested in him. Same goes with his friends. If you two are always hanging out, his friends will start to ask questions and apply extra pressure on him. That’s when things will get messy.
#11 Try not to text him your every thought. Constantly texting him your every thought will only provoke him and, again, will send him mixed signals. He doesn’t need to know about the dream you had last night, unless it was about your friend-zoning him. When someone is texting you all the time, of course you think they like you… because that’s a clear sign!
#12 Don’t put him first. I mean this loosely. If he is your friend, then of course he is a huge part of your life. However, if you’re always making your plans around him, then you need to reprioritize. You’re not his girlfriend and he’s not your boyfriend, so you have to stop treating him as one. Let the man go!
#13 Hang out in groups. Keep it friendly and keep it social. You don’t need to hang out one-on-one, especially if you’re worried he’s getting the wrong idea. Instead, make sure that when you do see him, it’s with a group of people. That way, he won’t be getting any mixed signals and you’ll be able to relax. Oh, and sit on the other end of the table, nice and far
#14 Refrain from opening up to him. You don’t need to tell this guy your deepest, darkest secrets. If he’s your best friend, it’s probably a little too late for that. However, if that isn’t the case, try not to engage in conversation that will get you opening yourself to him. He doesn’t need to know that you feel you need to lose weight or that you’re self-conscious about your feet. He may see you sharing personal stories about yourself as a sign. Also, it will probably motivate him to say something cringe-worthy like, “I like you just the way you are.”
#15 Don’t let him pay for you. Yeah, I know, getting free stuff is great, but if you’re letting this guy pay for your drinks and dinners, not only are you an asshole, but you’re leading him on. If you want to friend zone a guy, you’re going to have to stop using him. Pay for yourself, you’re independent, you don’t need a handout. When you let people pay for you, they sometimes feel that you owe them. Don’t let this happen between you and him. Keep it Dutch.
If you feel the need to friend zone a guy, don’t feel badly about it. Hey, sometimes, are feelings just aren’t reciprocated. But do him *and yourself* a favor at be open and honest about your intentions for your platonic relationship.